January 2007: Danielle Lloyd's remarks regarding Shilpa Shetty on "Celebrity Big Brother":
1) Refers to her as a "dog".
2) Says Shetty should "Fuck off home".
3) Is complicit in numerous recorded conversations in which Jade Goody, Jo O'Meara and Jack Tweed spout similarly prejudiced views, the "highlight" of which was a pathetic attempt to rhyme the word "tacky" with a well-known racist slur.
March 2009: Danielle Lloyd fronts programme on domestic violence on behalf of Comic Relief.
Conclusion: Publicly televised expressions of racism will be rewarded with high profile presenting roles on behalf of one of the most popular and recognisable charitable events in the country.
That's right folks, those sensitive and caring Comic Relief organisers have obviously reasoned that getting C-list Lloyd to host the programme would be a draw, regardless of her previous actions; that glamour girls and footballers' wives are latterday idols that can be used to disseminate a worthwhile message irrespective of their individual beliefs. That the ends justify the means.
"What, you kill puppies for fun? In the microwave? No sweat, just go on Celebrity Apprentice and we'll forget about it. "
"Believe in forced euthanasia? Just do this fun-run and we'll turn a blind eye."
God knows what paradoxical message that sends out to young women, or anyone else for that matter, but i'm sure CR would argue that this is the modern orthodoxy and they're just working within it.
Yet Jade Goody went on Indian Big Brother to try and salvage what little remained of her reputation. By this token, wouldn't it have been better if Lloyd was sent to Africa? Perhaps they're sending Ron Atkinson instead.
Let's be fair though, Lloyd is rightly regarded as one of the country's foremost: a) authorities on domestic violence; b) accomplished television presenters; c) dater of footballers. (Delete as appropriate.)
And, after all, a programme that is designed (as surely it must be if Comic Relief are at the helm) to provide comfort and support to women who are perhaps suffering abuse is an appropriate vehicle for Lloyd's rehabilitation into the TV community, isn't it?
Well, let's take a look shall we? According to the Home Office: "there is little variation in the prevalence of domestic violence by ethnicity. However, survivors from Black and other ethnic minority communities are less likely to access statutory services."
Will women from those communities be more inclined to watch a programme hosted by a woman proven to have serious prejudices against people of colour? Will they have forgotten her words?
Why should they be forced to sit through a programme fronted by someone they know holds them in contempt in order to find out information that could potentially save their lives?
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I realise she has been the victim of domestic violence, and I feel very sorry for her because such acts are abhorrent and unforgiveable.
Just like racism.
Even if she regrets what she did, it can hardly be argued that she's the best person for the job, that there is no-one in the entire country better suited to presenting a serious programme about a serious issue; that with this appointment Comic Relief aren't telling the biggest, and sickest, joke of all.
You know, the one where our society is so stupid, so puerile and so superficial that it forgets even recent history and where even those who supposedly "do good" are prepared to sacrifice their principles at the altar of (minor) celebrity.
Let her get her clothes off for readers of Nuts and Zoo by all means, but let's not pretend she is a suitable rolemodel for British womankind, or for Comic Relief.
Next thing you know, people will be changing their opinion of Jade Goody just because she's become unwe... oh...